Those that live, those that die
by eppy192
Summary: An episode addition to heroes,where jack tries to help sam come to terms with the events of the episode.


This is an episode addition to heroes and naturally will therefore have spoilers for that episode.

Disclaimer: i don't own stargate I'm just doing this for fun.

"What ya doing Carter?" O'Neill asked as he appeared at the door to her lab, Carter was sat at her desk some gadget in front of her in a vain attempt to look normal. It was clear to anyone that she was far from normal, her eyes were red and she had her head in her hands as he entered. But jack hadn't expected her to be ok, she had just lost her best friend.

"Fine sir" Sam replied wearily. Jack wasn't going to let her stay here, she needed to get out of the mountain, needed to deal with whatever it was that she was feeling at this moment so that she'd be ready for Janet's memorial service tomorrow.

"Right Carter you've got half an hour, then i want you to meet me topside. Is that clear Carter, or do i need to make it an order?" O'Neill said, Carter glanced up at him, she seemed almost dazed, unsure as to what he'd said at first, finally it seemed to register and she appeared to be about to offer a protest, before sighing and nodding meekly.

"Yes sir" she said.

"Ok then Carter, i'll meet you at my truck, i dread to think when you last slept, so i'll give you a lift home." Jack said as he headed for the door.

Thirty minutes later Carter appeared, Jack was already sat in his truck waiting.

"Hey Carter. Where to?" Jack asked as she climbed in.

"Not home." She said, her voice sounding almost desperate in its insistence not to go there.

"Erm... Sure Carter." Jack said momentarily thrown by her answer, where else should he offer to take her, he briefly considered his house but the two of them there alone could just lead to a whole heap of things she didn't need right now. "Do you want me to take you to Daniel's, or..." Jack tried desperately to think of some other options that didn't include his house.

"I'm kinda hungry, could we maybe get some food?" Sam asked almost hesitantly.

"Ye sure you betcha." Said Jack, glad to have an option that allowed him to continue to keep an eye on his... (well classifying that was a whole other issue, his what? second in command, friend, or something else) regardless he could do so in a public place, which made his life a hell of a lot easier.

They drove to a diner that was between Jack's house and the mountain. Inside they sat down and ordered, with jack quashing any ideas sam had of ordering coffee.

"you wanna talk about it carter?" Jack asked as their food arrived. Sam glanced up at him as she had earlier in her lab, only this time she appeared a lot clearer in her thoughts. She took a few seconds considering how to put in to words the conflicting emotions she was feeling.

"I shouldn't have been Janet, i don't for one second wish that it was one of us. But we've all cheated death so many times and Janet was..." Sam broke off unable to finish.

"I know Carter, its not fair to Janet or to Cassie or to any of her friends left behind, but Janet was a solider, she signed up knowing she could be put in dangerous situations. In the end she gave her life saving another, i know its hard right now but we should be proud of her for that." Jack said, Sam sighed and began to consider what jack had said thinking him finished, but he continued "It should have been me Carter, we both know that, that shot, i should be dead and Janet should be here where she's needed with Cassie." Jack sat back then looking anywhere but Carter, he'd said what he needed, what he knew about the situation, he didn't know what more to offer her, if he could have swapped with the doc, then he would.

Briefly glancing at her after several moments of silence, he saw a mixture of alarm and anguish marring her features, her stared at her questioningly until she began to offer an answer.

"I hate that we've lost Janet and i'm certain that she's going to leave a space that i can never quite fix, but..." She hesitated, "...if i ever lost you it wouldn't just be a hole, i don't know what of me there would be left." Sam finished, not wanting to look at Jack in fear of his reaction to her airing out the subject they had both promised to confine to the room.

Jack didn't say anything as they finished they food in a comfortable silence, both of them dealing with their own thoughts on the topic.

As they left and went to Jack's truck it was with an unspoken agreement that he then drove them in the direction of his house.


End file.
